So, you want to become a Satanist, huh? Alright. I’ll help you get started. The first step is to learn how to spell Satan. I know – you’d think the first step would be learning about Satan, or sacrificing a black cat, or painting one of your fingernails red.
I have my reasons, though. Why is spelling the first step in becoming a Satanist? Well, I figure if you’re going to be a Satanist, you’ll want to occasionally let people know that Satan lives by tagging things with spraypaint. And you wouldn’t want to do what a fellow in my town did. Observe:
If you’re having trouble reading it due to the poor quality (my apologies – cellphone camera), it reads: Satin Lives. When spelled wrong, it loses something, don’t you think? I believe Johnny’s project next week is to tag the school building with “Polyester Lives.”
Perhaps after Satin little Johnny will move on to Silk….
Satin? Is he any relation to Lucifur?
..and lesson two should probably be to get the symbols right (satanists turns both the cross and the pentagram upside down)..
But maybe this is an all new sect/ religion we don’t know about yet, where Satin lives..
If Satin is anything like the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Then I’ve only got one thing to say.
Where do I sign up?
Satanists are like drug addicts, they’re idiots.
I must confess, I am a fan of both satin and satan. oh what a wonderful discovery.