I wrote about 8 months ago about some religious discomfort I was experiencing. The discomfort stemmed from me being Buddhist, and my mom being Christian, whom I regularly took (and still take) to church. My last entry on this topic was actually about some of the discomfort being lifted; my mom had shared with the preachers that I was Buddhist, and they had in turn shared that that was fine with them. They said that whether Buddhist, Hindu, or anything else, they’d be okay with me attending.
Yesterday, some pressure was reapplied. After we’d left the service and exited the building, one of the preachers came out and flagged us down. He said he wanted to “get together with me” sometime this week, to just talk with me.
I know where this action came from. I had been talking to my mom about Christianity, asking her questions, one of which I wanted her to pose to this particular preacher. Specifically: If God is all-knowing, and always has been, why did he have to take human form as Jesus to “know what it was like to feel human suffering?” If he knows everything, shouldn’t he have known that long before?
She asked him this question at one of her church classes, which led to him wanting to talk with me, one on one. Which is fine, by the way. Here’s the rub: I don’t want to insult him. While I don’t agree with his set of beliefs, I do respect the guy, and I really don’t want to put him off. I know he’s going to ask me my thoughts on religion, God, etc., and I have some concern that my responses, regardless of how polite I share them, may bother him or make him mad, e.g.:
Him: “What’s your take on Jesus?”
Me: “I think that it’s likely that the Jesus figure is a copy, a reiteration of previous ‘hero’ figures. He shares many similarities with prophet types who supposedly lived before him - bringing salvation, father of a god, death, resurrection after 3 days, etc.”
I have similar thoughts on a lot of things about Christianity, which I won’t get into in this post, because it’s not the point; the point is, I just really, really don’t want to insult the guy. I respect him, and I also know that he likes my mom quite well, and I don’t want to disrupt their relationship. On the other hand, I don’t want to say “No, I don’t want to meet with you”, because that’ll come across as rude, too.
And thus, faithful readers, I pose this question: Any ideas? Keep in mind, he knows I consider myself Buddhist, so perhaps I’m getting worked up for nothing. Perhaps he expects such responses from me.
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August 13, 2007 at 9:25 am
Tom
He asked you for an interview right? When people ask for your opinion never be afraid to give it. The only time you should feel timid about sharing your views is when you impose them on others, but never when you’re asked for them.
As a side note, in the Catholic tradition Christ was not put on this earth to “feel what its like to suffer.”
August 13, 2007 at 10:05 am
Stavanger
Yes that and those door-to-door missionaries.
August 13, 2007 at 12:52 pm
Mike
I agree with tom. He has probably heard a lot worse then what you are going to tell him.
August 13, 2007 at 1:10 pm
Cas
The guy is a preacher - he’s trained to have these conversations. You’re probably more in danger of him insulting you than the other way round. All you can do in the situation is be honest with him. If he’s worth his salt then he’ll appreciate it.
August 13, 2007 at 1:11 pm
Cas
And look - updated gravatar, just for you
August 13, 2007 at 3:51 pm
Josh
Tom: Good point. I suppose he did ask me to talk with him.
From the Catholic point of view, why was Christ sent to earth?
Stavanger: I simply refuse to talk to door-to-door missionaries, regardless of what denomination they are.
Mike: True. I’m sure he’s been told off a time or two.
Cas: I’ve spoken to him briefly before, and I’ve been around him an awful lot (due to being around him with m’mom), and I really doubt he’ll end up insulting me. He is, without a doubt, the most understanding / tolerant Christian preacher I’ve ever met in my life. I will indeed be honest with him, even if that means I have to say “I have no idea.”
And also - why hello, Rogue.
Great pic.
August 13, 2007 at 4:20 pm
Justin Kilcher
While I may not consider myself a “Buddhist” my philosophies for life largely stem from Buddhist thought and teachings. To this day I havent had a negative family experience because my father used to be into Buddhism and my mom is pretty apathetic to religion but I loathe when the topic comes up with anyone else. Ive had a few friends, many whom I respect a great deal, question why I abandoned my somewhat Christian upbringing and your really tip-toeing over landmines when you try to explain. Its kind of hard to say to someone nicely: “wake up! your religion is nothing but a carbon copy of almost every religion that existed before “christ” and nothing about any of the stories, the bible, etc.. is completely unique.” So as long as they stay civil with me I stay civil back. Once I feel like Im being put on the defensive and they dont let up thats when Ill start coming at them offensively. But for the most part that never happens. Good luck with that situation.
August 13, 2007 at 9:03 pm
Johnny Relentless
I know how you feel. I am Jewish, and I always hold back when speaking with Rabbis because I don’t want to offend. Even more importantly, I don’t want to say anything that might shake someone else’s beliefs. That’s probably not too easy to do, but you never know. My arguments seem too logical to ignore. But I think (especially if he asked you), it’s ok to express your feelings/beliefs to him. I’m sure he’s heard it all before.
If I thought he was trying to convert me, I would love to offend, but since it seems that he is responding to questions you were asking, he probably deserves to be heard.
I thought that Budhism was compatible with other religions. Is that not true? I thought that nothing in Budhism prohibits, or even discourages following another religion? Although I know that most religions don’t feel that the reverse is true.
August 14, 2007 at 3:25 pm
Nils
Just heard a nice one: philosophy is speculation, zen is participation. No idea what this could mean (esp. in this case) or what it implies for religion (c.q. christianity). But still, it sounds good.
I know you like to ask questions (as much, or more even, than me) but remember: this is not going to be a dialogue among equals. If he has specific questions that trouble him in life, advise him, otherwise, I wouldn’t go.