System 13

I like the internet – a lot. I use it all the time, to do all sorts of things: keep in touch with friends, learn new things, keep up with the news, play games. But I do try to maintain a little bit of common sense when it comes to the internet. Is it a great tool? Yes. Is it the solution to everything? No. Far, far, far from it.

For example, recently on MetaFilter, I saw this:

I just mixed bleach / vinegar / salt / and liquid dish detergent in hopes of created a super weed killer. I mixed the stuff in a fairly well-ventilated room, and then sprayed it on some weeds outside. Now I just read about chlorine gas resulting from the mixture of bleach and chlorine, and I’m suddenly feeling light-headed (hypochondriac). Am I going to die?

Okay, in an instance like this, going to Ask MetaFilter and probing the hivemind is not the solution. The solution, if you truly are concerned that you just took in a bunch of chlorine gas or something other poison, is to call a Poison Control Center, an ambulance, or something similar. Here’s a similar thing I saw on Ask MetaFilter:

We just figured out our house was burgled. One laptop and a necklace or two missing. No one is in the house. We can see where they got in and we’ve secured it. What should we do now? File a police report? What about the laptop? Any identity theft steps to take? We changed the email passwords and stuff… Other suggestions welcome.

This isn’t as bad as the chlorine gas one, but it’s still pretty silly. If you discover that someone has broken into your home, the first step (in my mind, anyway) would be to call the police and file a report – not to hop on Ask MetaFilter.

I’m really not trying to come across as a dick here, but it’s like the internet causes folks’ brains to short circuit sometimes. They forget that there’s a world that exists offline; they think that all of their problems should be solved online.

I’m just waiting for the day when I’m browsing the feed items from AskMetafilter, and see: “Okay, I’m in a building. It’s on fire. What does the great hivemind recommend I do?”

Come on, people. Common sense. Use it. Then again, I suppose there’s a reason that Greeley’s quote, “Common sense is very uncommon”, lives on.