Social networking sites – what’s the big deal?

I’ve been watching the hype over social networking sites this year (and before, in fact), and I must say: I don’t get it. The social networking sites don’t do anything for me. For a while I had a MySpace page, which I admittedly neglected; I have since deleted my account there. I now have a Facebook page, which I rarely look at; I have a Twitter account, which I’ve not used for about a month; a friend (hi, Nils) recently offered me an invitation to Pownce, which I politely turned down. Why? More of the same – and that doesn’t amount to much.

Perhaps I’m being pessimistic; perhaps I’m being an old “stick in the mud.” But the idea of, for lack of a better word, collecting friends on these sites doesn’t appeal to me. It’s almost as if friendships aren’t the key point; the key point is to collect friends, to increase your number of contacts. Have you known this person your whole life? Add them as a friend. Have you talked to this person a few times at work? Add ‘em as a friend. Did you bump into this person while walking to the store four months ago, and you’ve not seen them since? Add them as a friend!

All of the social networking sites I’ve used have had a similar quality to them, and that quality, I think, is hollowness. There’s lots of flash – everyone has their little mood indicators, their 16×16 avatars, their favorite song listed. But am I really coming to know these people through all of that crap? I don’t really think so; or rather, I could come to know them a lot better through another medium, say, email. With email, people can send me messages, and I can send them messages; the difference here is that when I send them an email, they don’t get an email saying that I sent them an email, requesting them to go to a different website to login to read my email. The email is just there. And, if you don’t know what I’m alluding to, sign up at Facebook or MySpace, and have someone send you a message. You have to go through that nonsense every single time. This can become exceedingly irritating when you and another person are sending fairly short messages back and forth to each other. It’s always nice to spend a few minutes going to another site, logging in, clicking on Inbox, just to read “haha, yeah” or something similar.

To be fair, Twitter was fun for a while; for a few days, I was twittering (tweeting?) like mad, and so were all of my contacts / friends. But then I came to see Twitter as just another timesink. Sure, it could be fun, but if I really wanted to communicate with my friends, I think I’d be better off hitting them up on an IM or through email. No middle-men websites required. Especially middle-men that dictate 140 characters or less.

But, like I said, maybe it’s just me. Clearly, the sites have something going for them, otherwise they wouldn’t be such smash hits. But I personally don’t enjoy them. I don’t find them filling. Real friendships, real communication, real discussion – these things are like a full mean, with steak, baked potato, some broccoli and carrots, and a bit of dessert. Twitter, MySpace, Facebook – popcorn. Tastes alright, but is certainly not filling at all.

By the way, a hat tip to Nils, who wrote this post, which is what got me thinking about this topic. His post is quite good, so go read it. Go on. Get outta’ here.

Comments 7

  1. Tom wrote:

    A man after my own heart, no no, a genius and a hero for having the courage to voice this.

    I completely agree.

    Posted 12 Jul 2007 at 12:28 am
  2. Kristin wrote:

    I’m only on Facebook, which every Norwegian is these days. But I don’t use it that much, just keep in touch with people I don’t have the email address to.

    But I see that the people who’s most active don’t have any other site, like a blog.

    Posted 12 Jul 2007 at 1:57 am
  3. Joshua J. Slone wrote:

    You know, I was totally with you until you started bashing popcorn.

    Posted 12 Jul 2007 at 11:37 am
  4. Josh wrote:

    Tom: Thanks for the support. :)

    Kristin: Even without a blog or another website, I don’t really get the need for all of the middle-man website things for communication. I personally have the email addresses / phone numbers of all my friends; no need to use other sites to contact ‘em. :)

    Slone: Hah! Wait, wait. I LIKE popcorn. I’m not saying it doesn’t taste good. But it ISN’T very filling.

    Posted 12 Jul 2007 at 12:32 pm
  5. Gnorb wrote:

    “the key point is to collect friends, to increase your number of contacts”

    So… friends in these places are like Pokemon, gotta catch ‘em all?

    Posted 12 Jul 2007 at 1:32 pm
  6. Josh wrote:

    Gnorb: Heh, yeah. That’s actually how I feel when I sign up at one of the sites.

    Posted 12 Jul 2007 at 1:52 pm
  7. Delphine wrote:

    hi! I just found your blog…
    I was thinking about “friendship” the other day and realize that I don’t have many, if any, true friends. Most of the people I talk to now, I’ve known less than 6 years and I really can’t count on. I remember reading a few months ago the average American doesn’t even have 1 true friend. I think people are lonely and have no true friends so they go to those sites and “make friends”. I have a page on gather.com and lots of people approached me to be “friends” but they never read my content or responded in a real way. They were just looking to “add a friend” and have me read their stuff so I think you’re right, they seem to be more interested in collecting than maintaining.

    Posted 13 Jul 2007 at 9:28 am

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