An open letter from my lower body

March 29, 2007 | 4 comments

[I received this letter this morning from the United Muscles of My Lower Body. I figured I would share.]

Dear Josh,

We, the United Muscles of Your Lower Body, are concerned. We received news from the Dominion of Your Upper Body three days ago, which stated that you have started a new exercise and dieting regime, called Body for Life. The news from Monday stated furthermore that, on that day, you exercised the Muscles of the Dominion of Your Upper Body strenuously, causing discomfort, achiness, and stiffness. Being members of the United Muscles of Your Lower Body, this did not concern us a great deal. What you do to the members of the Dominion has little impact on us.

However, yesterday, you did something that does concern us. You forced us to work. You made us work hard, doing movements which you haven’t had us do in years. We are not happy with this development. In particular, Hamstrings is extremely upset, stating that you have mostly let him sit on his (proverbial) ass for many years now, and that it is unfair to ask him to work so hard now. He is extremely sore, and is in mild to medium pain everytime you bend your knee. Abdominals is also irate at your new activities, stating that he was perfectly content to hide, mostly unused, under your massive gut.

We want to make it clear: if you continue with such activities, we will continue to issue complaints. We don’t like being sore.

Best,
The United Muscles of Your Lower Body

(I know, I know. Starting a new “life change” program while simultaneously playing around with NationStates brings about some really odd blog posts.)

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4 comments

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March 29, 2007 at 11:38 am

Fig

Fig’s avatar

Allow me to point out that irregardless of your current obsession with NationStates, your blog posts do tend towards the really odd….

March 29, 2007 at 11:48 am

Josh

Josh’s avatar

True, true. An odd mind will, logically, produce odd blog posts.

As an aside [invokes Grammar Nazi personality], irregardless is a double negative, and is generally considered to be wrong. ;)

March 29, 2007 at 3:19 pm

Fig

Fig’s avatar

My most sincere apologies for using an erroneous redundancy for regardless on your blog. ;)

March 30, 2007 at 8:00 am

Josh

Josh’s avatar

I forgive you. :P