Dear Cats,
I like you. I really do. You’re usually a very lovable pet, one which I thoroughly enjoy the company of. In particular, you’re wonderful lap warmers and, a select few of you at any rate, are exceptionally talented feet warmers as well. I enjoy petting you usually, and your purr is quite calming.
However…
I do not need your assistance while reading. I know you think you’re far more intelligent than me, but your big, furry body in front of my face does not aid me in reading. Perhaps you have an excellent knowledge of World War 2, or the Russian language, or tank warfare theory. Even if that’s the case, you being in my way does not help me in learning about such things. In fact, it’s quite a hindrance.
Furthermore, I believe we’re having some breakdown in communications. When I pick you up and move you out of my way or put you down on the floor, I assure you, that is not me saying, “Please, jump right back up here and get in my way again.” I know, I know – it’s hard to understand what a stupid human like me is trying to convey. So let me try to make it clearer: when I put you down, I want you out of my way. I want your fuzzy hair out of my face. I want you to go somewhere else and purr, or perhaps take up a perch in the window sill and clean yourself – pick a body part, I don’t care. Just get out of my way. I’ll love on you later when I’m not trying to read.
Thanks.
Best regards,
Josh, a frustrated cat owner (who’s nose itches because of little cat hairs all over it)
Technorati Tags: cats
Comments 8
I wish I had a cat that read blogs.
Posted 21 Dec 2006 at 1:29 pm ¶Haha, Tony.
I think Isis, our cat, tries to. He’s up in my lap and all over the keyboard whenever I try to read my feeds. 
Posted 21 Dec 2006 at 1:37 pm ¶Heh. Luckily this has only happened a couple times, but I’ve been in bed body-down hands-forward with a book or game or whatever, and then Snit decides a good place to sit would be right out on my outstretched arms.
Posted 21 Dec 2006 at 2:07 pm ¶Hehehe, my cat tends to be on my lap while I’m at my desk, he then rests his head on my forearm as I’m trying to type away while his tail wraps around my other arm! Cats are funny creatures.
Posted 21 Dec 2006 at 2:41 pm ¶My smallest cat likes to try to get right in front of my face whenever I read or am using my laptop in the living room. No matter how much I try to block him or how many times I set him on the floor, he comes right back up and just purrs repeatedly until our other cat comes over. It is times like that when I appreciate our big cat being a trouble maker, as he gets the little one to leave me alone.
Posted 21 Dec 2006 at 3:13 pm ¶Slone: When I lay on my stomach and read, our cat ALWAYS plants himself on my arms.
Jay: Sounds like a feline version of a Python.
Matthew: Your smallest cat sounds exactly like our cat. He just does *not* give up. I put him down, he gets up. I put him down, he gets up.
Posted 21 Dec 2006 at 4:53 pm ¶I think they get a particular joy from being irritating, but too cute to hate. Sometimes I feel like they’re so much smarter than we realize, and when they fall asleep in our laps just before we have to get up and go somewhere, it’s because they want to cause us as much mental anguish as possible.
Posted 27 Dec 2006 at 2:07 pm ¶Heliologue: Exactly! Irritating, but too cute to hate. Isis, our cat, falls asleep on us all of the time, RIGHT before we need to get up. When we get up and he wakes up, he looks at us like, “Um, excuse me? I was sleeping, thank you very much!”
Posted 27 Dec 2006 at 2:17 pm ¶Post a Comment