I’ve been thinking about my post about walking up to a stranger and starting a conversation with a stranger. While I’m glad I did it, I’ve noticed something: as each day has gone by since I’ve done it, the more concerned I get about being able to do it again. Was it a one-shot deal? Am I going to crawl back into my cave now? I think what it boils down to is that, yes - if I don’t keep testing myself and putting myself in such a difficult situation, I will crawl back into my cave. At least in my case, I think that this whole being able to talk to strangers thing is a good example of “use it or lose it.”
Because I really enjoyed the experience, despite how difficult it was (and damn, it was…), I think I’m going to set myself a goal. I think doing it once a day would be a bit much; introverts like me do need our rest, after all!
Maybe three random stranger conversations a week? That’d be doable, I suppose. A few things that I think are good to keep in mind when considering starting a conversation with a stranger:
- Most likely, if they’re by their lonesome, they’ll like having someone to talk to, even if it’s for a few minutes. We are, after all, social creatures.
- What’s the worst that can happen? Well.. okay, maybe that’s going a bit far. I suppose they could be a dangerous criminal and.. err.. okay, this isn’t helping you (or me), is it? Most likely, the worst that’s going to happen is that they don’t want to talk. Big deal. Say “Have a nice day” and move on. There are always other folks to
stalktalk with! - Don’t over-analyze. Don’t stand back, thinking up a script for the conversation. “I’ll say this.. they’ll most likely say this, so I’ll respond with this, then they’ll probably say….” It won’t work. 99 times out of 100, they’ll break your script with the first thing they say. Then you’re going to be standing there going, uhhh.. what now? Anyway - if you think about it too much, you most likely won’t do it. If you’re like me, anyway.
- Just to reiterate that last one in fewer words: just do it. Pick someone, walk up, and say hi. See where it goes. If it doesn’t work, oh well; try again with someone else, or try on a different day. If it does work, it’ll be great.
Anyone have any more tips on how to make this whole thing a bit easier?
Tags: conversation, Life, personal

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October 26, 2006 at 9:00 pm
Mrs Lifecruiser
Choose the situation where you’re doing it. It’s always easier to start talking by commenting something you both experiencing right there. The lunch food, the late bus, the games in a store etc. You ‘ve got the picture.
Good luck with your goal
Important Cruise information:
As you’re an promising candidate to become considered as an A-Team Cruiser I’ll invite you to come and Goose your Deluxe Duck…
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What an A-Team Cruiser is
October 26, 2006 at 10:02 pm
Josh
Good point, Mrs. Lifecruiser. Kind of similar to the old military maxim, “Choose your battles”.
I’ll check out the Goose your Deluxe Duck thing. Thanks for the confidence, in regards to the A-Team Cruiser list!
October 27, 2006 at 11:12 pm
meowkaat
Please don’t laugh at me for making a corny suggestion… but I read this book years ago “Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway” by Susan Jeffers and it changed my whole “walking up to strangers” ever after. Changed me, truthfully, and I KNOW how corny that sounds. Don’t laugh.
My mantra I still say to myself every day is “Do feared things FIRST.” Because inwardly, I’m a big chicken.
I think you’re very brave.
October 27, 2006 at 11:14 pm
meowkaat
what is a cruiser? I totally didn’t get it.
October 28, 2006 at 9:59 am
Josh
Sounds like a good book, Meowkaat. I think “Do feared things FIRST.” is actually a good mantra. If you never do anything that makes you uncomfortable, you’ll never really find anything new and original in life, because you’ll just stay in your safe rut.
Also, regarding a cruiser. Lifecruiser.com has a “cruise ship” theme to it. Posts are considered cruises; commenters are cruisers. Their A-Team Cruiser list is just their blogroll on the front page of people who are quite active in the comments.